Crazy Cat Lady Photoshoot

HAPPY MONDAY!

Lies About Cancer

What causes cancer- any type? Well, many speculate, but nobody knows for sure. We only know that some contributing factors are genetics, diet, tobacco use, physical activity, certain types of infections and environmental exposures to different types of chemicals and radiation. This article wants you to know what doesn't cause cancer (but really, its purpose is to discredit prior scientific and clinical studies).

Now, I am no Scientist. Heck, I don't even remember the steps in the Scientific Method! However, I have long suspected that the daily use of products on and in our bodies are the culprits. How else can you explain why cancer was nearly non-existent 100 years ago, but is now the leading cause of death in the U.S. in people ages 40-79? Also, women have a 38% likelihood of being diagnosed with cancer and men, 40% at present. Those are some high numbers. Common sense tells us to look at what we have done differently in recent years to account for such high numbers- like what products have been introduced into consumers' daily routines in the last several decades.

I have my own crazy ideas about the causes of cancer for which there is no concrete evidence(increased consumption/use of processed foods, toxic chemicals in skincare and makeup, etc.). So, I am going to let you be the judge. I just want people to be more aware, I guess, of what they are eating, drinking, smoking and using in and on their bodies- and to think about why these products are even allowed on the market despite the potential health risks. Basically, I just want people to be more informed. I am a natural pessimist and leery of the information I am given. I think we, as consumers, are shielded from the truth by our government on a variety of topics and for many different reasons.

For example-if it were true (based on completely accurate research) that certain ingredients in deodorant cause Breast Cancer and Alzheimer's Disease, I would venture to guess that 99% of people would find an alternate product to combat body odor. What is the government's interest in deodorant, you ask? Well, they don't have one- other than on a personal level. But they do have an interest in protecting the business interests of their large contributors, including one in particular, Proctor and Gamble. They produce many products including Secret, Safeguard and Old Spice brands of deodorant. Although, on their official website, they deny donating to any particular political party or supporting any particular candidate, P&G gave over $550,000 to federal candidates in the 2008 election through their Political Action Committee. They also contribute millions of dollars per year to lobby for their interests- anywhere from 1.47 to 8 million in 2009, to be exact. So, think about it: If you gave someone some money to, say, protect you from a bully at school (hey, this is a likely scenario), they would do their best. Well, same concept- only it is a big business asking politicians to protect them against the people at the FDA, EPA, etc. in exchange for campaign funds from said big business.

Anyway, that is just one example. There are many more, but I don't want you to think I am some crazy conspiracy theorist or something. Just seek out the truth for yourself, don't believe results of studies without considering who funded them, keep an open mind and do what you can to prevent cancer (as shown above).

Happy Friday!!!

Run Tell That, Homeboy!

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of this new show! I can hardly wait to see what the theme song is going to be! If it is anything like the Bed Intruder song, it is going to be amazing!

If you have lived under a rock for the past year and don't know what I am talking about, just go to youtube.com and search for "Antoine Dodson." He is the internet sensation that became such after he was interviewed by a news reporter following an incident wherein an "idiot from the projects" broke into his apartment (which also happened to be in the projects) and tried to rape his sister. He rose to reality stardom after the Gregory Brothers had some fun auto-tuning his voice and making a fun song out of his interview. It went viral on youtube and the rest is history.

Some don't get what all the fuss is about since he didn't actually have anything to do with the making of the Bed Intruder song. I say, if it wasn't for his larger-than-life personality, there would have been no content for such a song to even be created. So, with all the success of the Bed Intruder song on itunes and youtube.com, he deserves a piece of the pie. Why should the Gregory Brothers reap all the benefits when he is the real star? I am proud of him for working hard and promoting himself as he has. He was able to move his whole family out of the projects and into a nice house. Ain't no shame in his game!

Wow, I have put way too much thought into this.

Anyway, best of luck to Antoine in all his future endeavors! I just might dress up as my hero for Halloween this year.

Where's The Beef?

If you subscribe to the notion that ignorance is bliss or you happened to eat Taco Bell for lunch, read no further! If not, read this.

You know I've always thought that if people knew where their food came from and how it was produced, they would be less likely to eat half of the junk they do. I'm not one to point a finger. I am guilty of this too. I choose to remain ignorant mostly b/c it is just too gross to think about. I would have to do a complete diet overhaul in order to have complete peace of mind.

For example, do you know what hot dogs are made of? Yeah, neither do I. I have done some research but cannot get a straight answer. But anything that is even partially consisting of "mechanically-separated" meat should make you think twice about eating it. I have graduated to the All-Beef version of the hot dog, but I lose my appetite if I stop and think about what I am eating.

Another thing to think about is all the pesticides that are put on fruits and vegetables. These are chemicals, and no matter how well you wash your food before you eat it, you are going to consume at least small amounts of it. A lot of these chemicals have been studied and are believed to cause different types of cancer. This is scary stuff.

Ever heard of MSG? No, not Madison Square Garden! Monosodium Glutamate. Remember when it was all the rage in use at Chinese buffets? It got a bad rap (and rightfully so!), so a lot of food makers stopped using it or lessened the amounts of MSG that put into foods. Well, don't be fooled. It is still in foods you probably eat everyday. Check this out.

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Don't even get me started on what they are putting into fast food to keep us all addicted.

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I am not trying to sway my reader (meant to be singular, not a typo) one way or the other. It is just food for thought...no MSG added :)

Crazy Karma

A friend and I were joking around the other day about karma. I remarked that if karma is real, my (hypothetical) kids are sure to turn out ugly, dumb as rocks, and socially awkward due to all of the mean-spirited jokes I have made at the expense of dumb, ugly people. (Mom, don't be mad. I'm talkin' 'bout BEFORE I found Jesus.)

So, I went to Truelifekarma.com to take The Karma Test. I was hoping it would tell me that I had been forgiven of all my evil sins and that I could expect only good things to come my way. I was sorely mistaken. Just like Karma itself, the "test" was a sham. All they wanted was my email address to send me spam. After all, the website boasted, "It is good karma!" That's okay, the joke is on them 'cause I gave them an email address I don't even use anymore. Bam! How's that for karma, Truelifekarma.com? Stings, doesn't it?

Speaking of karma, if it IS real, I wouldn't want to be this guy. As I'm sure you read in my post "Yum. yum, give me...Gun?," you can't just go around shootin' folks anytime you feel like it- especially a Congresswoman! Not to mention, he had the audacity to plead "Not Guilty." Oh, good luck getting a fair trial. One look at those crazy eyes and the jury is going send you to the electric chair.

There I go again judging people! Oh well, the kid has crazy eyes and you know it! I am just stating the obvious. I guess I need to go to prayerrequest.com and pray for my sin of passing judgment to be forgiven.

I See You Eyeballin' The Vodka, Son.

Is this for real??? I don't even have anything funny to say about this. This is just sad and precisely the reason I don't want to have kids...b/c even if my kids don't turn out to be this stupid, these would be their peers.

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Yes, I Read More Than Menus

I just finished a book last night called A Child Called "It." I can honestly say that it was the most disturbing book I have ever read. I am in shock and disbelief at the physical, mental, and emotional abuse Dave Pelzer suffered as a child. I am sadden to know that there are children who suffer/have suffered such abuse at the hand of a parent- someone who is supposed to love, cherish, nurture, protect, and provide for their child. It is truly heartbreaking.

Despite the insane amount of physical abuse, what really struck a chord with me was the mental and emotional abuse Dave suffered. Unfortunately, I can relate. When I was a teenager, a family from church invited me to live with them. I suppose I should be grateful for them taking me in and providing for me for 5 years. But considering that they made my life hell, that kind of overshadows any sort of gratitude I might have had. I saw physical abuse between family members many times. I was constantly teased, put down, and called names. All of which really did a number on my self esteem. I was told that my parents didn't love me. I was not allowed to have friends, and if I did, my friendships were sabotaged. I was made to attend church several times a week and put on a happy face despite the daily abuse at home. I was, of course, forbidden to talk to anyone about it. But most damaging of all, I was brainwashed into believing this was all normal behavior.

Those monsters are lucky I don't call them by name. I have more class than that. I pray that I can find true forgiveness in my heart for them. After all, I have already gotten my revenge; I am the exact opposite of everything they told me I was and would become. I win. They actually, by example, inadvertently taught me an invaluable life lesson- how NOT to live.

Dave Pelzer said it best in the epilogue when he wrote, "I'm so blessed. The challenges of my past have made me immensely strong inside...My experience gave me a different outlook on life that others may never know."

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Okay, enough seriousness...On to happy things :)

I am reading a book now called Running with Scissors. It is the memoir of Augusten Burroughs. It is another unorthodox life story, but quite different from Dave Pelzer's. He was not beaten to a bloody pulp every other day. However, like in A Boy Called "It", the time period is the 1970's. So, far it is really funny, and I find it to be very well-written and descriptive. For example, he was describing his mother's Psychiatrist as looking like Santa Claus. He writes, "He seemed like he should be in a department store letting kids pee on his lap and whispering brand-name bicycles in his ear." That's funny, I don't care who you are. :)

Snow What!

Talk about opportunists! Like I always say, "When life gives you noodles, pour some hot water in them, and sell them for 5 times the amount of their original retail value!"

Truth be told, some of my favorite products come out of China- paper clips, light bulbs, storage containers, etc. So, I am not surprised at all by their creative venture in an unfortunate situation. Even though they were capitalizing on the misfortune of the poor travelers stuck in traffic for hours, you have to admire their quick thinking and entrepreneurial spirit.

As the Chinese Proverb says, "The Gods cannot help those who do not seize opportunities." And as the Latins say, "Carpe Diem." And as the Rednecks say, "Git 'er done!"....and so on and so forth. You get the point.

By the way, kind of an obvious question: Why didn't the people in traffic realize after about, say, 10 hours, that they were not going anywhere? They could have all gone to a buffet or something. Everyone knows that the Chinese have the best buffets.

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Yum, Yum, Give Me...Gun?

Now, I love cake as much as the next guy, but this is just going overboard! Guess he really had a hankerin' for that cake!

I once freaked out on Drew for drinking the last bit of milk. But just as I felt myself blacking out into a fit of rage, I came to and put the knife away. I decided it wasn't worth the prison time.

I think what the assailant was REALLY upset about was the victim being so inconsiderate. The bottom line is- it wasn't his cake and he ate it. He took something that wasn't his. Possession is 9/10ths of the law, people! So, did he deserve to get shot for it? Eh, nah. Should the victim's parents be reprimanded for not teaching their son better manners (or as we like to call it in the ghetto, "home trainin' ")? Absolutely! As my husband likes to say, there are no such things as bad children, only bad parents.

On a serious note, there is a lesson to be learned here. 1. Don't eat someone else's cake. Duh. 2. Consider the REAL problem before you go shootin' folks. The inconsideration on the victim's part was only a symptom of not being taught how to treat others. Maybe, the gunman should have shot the parent's of the victim instead. I'm only kidding. But speaking of, it wouldn't have killed (no pun intended) the gunman's parents to teach him how to share either! After all, "Sharing Means Caring!" And apparently, not sharing means a bullet to the chest.

If the victim dies, will it be considered "Death By Chocolate?"

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This Is the Cat's Pajamas!

(My kitties, Charlie and Girlfrand)

Read story here----> Cat Called To Jury Duty

Frankly, I am impressed that the government was able to get a cat to respond to any call. They usually just stare at you blankly. Nonetheless, below are six reasons I think cats serving on a jury is a brilliant idea. Fist pumps for Boston for such creative thinking!

1. They are probably smarter than 70% of the general population- which says a lot. I would be honored to have cats decide my fate.

2. Its about time cats start earnin' their keep! Cat food is expensive.

3. No breaks needed for restroom visits. They just poo in a box.

4. More cost effective for taxpayers. You don't have to pay animals. The government would save $6 per cat juror, per day.

5. They wouldn't waste time by asking dumb questions like humans b/c they are all very aware that "curiosity killed the cat!"

6. They won't try to get out of jury duty b/c most would just be happy to get out of the house.

There ya go- Six really good reasons cats would be puuuurfect for jury service!

P.S. I plan on using at least one of these phrases per day for the next several days. My co-workers will be delighted, I'm sure! :)

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Gold

Gold lies in rivers undiscovered

Hidden from the sight of those who don't know what to look for

Sometimes the value is uncovered

Other times it's cast aside by those who are just unsure

I guess you never held onto quality

Or you would have recognized by now

Something so special, so true

When she's standing right in front of you

I'm gold, babe

Catch me in the slip stream

Passing by the fools who just don't know

Pure gold, babe

You're looking at the real thing

If you knew my worth, you wouldn't let go

-"Gold" by Beverly Knight

Hear the song HERE

Now, I have never really cared too much for gold. Diamonds suit me better (Drew, I hope you are taking notes). But the point Beverly so beautifully made in the song above is: You need to recognize you lady and value her for what she is- pure gold. If you want to keep your lady, you better treat her right- that's all I'ma sayin'! If you don't, she might just slip through your hands and float downstream to be pick up by someone who does "know what to look for." Ladies, I am not just picking on the men; the same goes for you!

Also, it is important to remember that we are not guaranteed our next breath. So, tell your friends and family that you love them everyday...and also say all the really hurtful things you want, too. Hey, you might die tomorrow! :) I'm only kidding. I just feel like it is really important to be cognizant of the fragility of life so that we don't take the things or people in our lives for granted.

Happy Friday to you all!

Ghetto Superstar, That Is What You Are

While apartment hunting online, a new acquaintance of mine asked me how much I pay for my apartment. How rude, right? For the sake of conversation, I overlooked it and answered him. He was apparently shocked by how much I pay for my digs because he replied, "Wow, that's cheap! You must live in the ghetto." I thought, 'Excuse me, sucka?!?! You're about to see the ghetto come out in me real fast-like!' Good thing I don't always say what I am thinking.

Then, I began to ponder all of the world's social and economic problems, and my mind drifted away into other random thoughts.

A few days later, I was sharing an experience I had, in which, I was arriving home late at night and was a bit afraid to go inside my apartment. This was because there were five large men, who happened to be of a different ethnicity than I, loitering in the breezeway. This same acquaintance, just as crass as the first time, said to me, "Wow, you really must live in the ghetto!"

This is offensive to me on so many levels, but I won't go into that. You can say whatever you want about me. However, if you are going to assume that I live in the ghetto based on how much I pay in rent (which is actually average to above average for a one-bedroom apartment in our city) and the tenants in my building, then you are just ignorant of what a "ghetto" actually is and I feel sorry for you.

Allow me to educate you. http://www.lyricsfreak.com/e/elvis+presley/in+the+ghetto_20048735.html This is true ghetto life and not where I live at all, thank you very much. However, I have had the misfortune of living in similar places in the past. Which brings me to my actual point of this post: Everyone has a different standard of living, so, who are you to judge?

Just six years ago, I moved into my first apartment with my only worldly possessions- two camping chairs- and you guessed it, in a very bad area. Hearing gunshots and seeing crackheads was commonplace. It was all I could afford, and I was happy just to have a place to call my own. So, my personal standard of living was very low at the time. I was just trying to make it in the crazy world.

Since then, I have moved up a notch socio-economic ladder, but I haven't forgotten where I have come from. There are many people on rungs below me and MANY above me, as well. So, I think before one gets all Judgy McJudgerson and tries to assess someone's situation based on where they live- because that is essentially what my acquaintance was doing- one needs to consider what cards life has handed them and whether or not oneself has a winning hand. Nah meeean?

Beyond that, if it is going to be assumed that I live in the ghetto and hence, I am considered "Ghetto," I will have to request that "Superstar" be added to the end. Because that is what I am- a Ghetto Superstar! Beleee Dat! http://www.urbandictionary.com/products.php?term=ghetto%20superstar&defid=267163 Note: NOT to be confused with "Ghetto Fabulous." http://www.urbandictionary.com/products.php?term=Ghetto%20Fabulous&defid=2030389 'Preciate cha!

Rebel WITH a Cause....For Concern

Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I love me some young Marlon Brando- emphasis on the "young" part. Think Rebel Without a Cause and A Streetcar Named Desire not The Godfather. He is definitely easy on the eyes, and I love his no-nonsense style. The latter is evident in an apology letter he wrote to Chalie Sheen explaining why he would not be able to attend his 26th bithrday party...but he took it too far. http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/01/im-feeling-like-very-large-turd-on-very.html

Among other things, he stated, "I'm feeling like a very large turd on a very thin stick." Now, as a "Wordie" (as I have been called), I appreciate his vivid description that no doubt painted a very clear picture for his reader of how ill he was feeling. However, did he really have to be so vulgar about it?

Since I only love the young Marlon Brando, I am going to blame his tackiness on being old and senile. He was 67 at the time of this writing. After all, we all know on your 60th birthday, you are issued a Say-Whatever-You-Want-Til-You-Pass Pass.

I just refuse to believe that my beautiful, pouty-lipped, piercing-eyed, young Marlon would grow to be such an ineloquent, old man...and sickly, at that! I wonder if "sled dog urine" is an effective cure for Diarrhea of the Mouth, as well.

Although his attractiveness and many brain cells died long before he, may he rest in peace.

P.S. I decided to dedicate my blog to whatever I feel like writing about. :)