Dirty Bath Salts

Bath salts are supposed to get you clean, but they got this guy feelin' all dirty. (WARNING: If you have a weird affinity for goats, do NOT click on the link.)

All joking aside, I had no idea there are chemicals used in certain bath salts that if snorted, injected or smoked can be as powerful and as harmful as Meth. Thank goodness many states are becoming aware of this crazy new fad and are taking steps to make them illegal.

But really, what's next? Arsenic in fruit loops? Obviously these bath salts were not intended for use in bathing just like K-2 was not really meant to be burned as incense. So, doesn't the FDA have to approve all of these types of products before they are released on the market? Why is there no watchdog group getting upset about this?

I digress. Happy Friday!!!

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Jesus, You're Home! We Weren't Expecting You 'Til 2012.

Thank goodness for friends or I would have never known that Jesus is coming back from his 2,000 year vacay early! That's right, folks! I thought He was going to be all covert about it like "a thief in the night," but apparently, He set a date- May 21st, 2011! But of all people, why would he tell this guy first? I mean, I know Jesus and I have been more like acquaintances than friends lately, but I thought we were tighter than that. Really, I am hurt that I had to find out this way. I could have thrown a really awesome Homecoming Party, but He can forget it now. P.S. I knew the Mayans were wrong.

This guy better get it together fast if he is going to be ready for Christ's return. I mean, I wouldn't want to be caught in a diaper sitting in a highchair outfitted for a 400 pound man when Christ makes his glorious return...but to each his own, I guess. But seriously, I hope he doesn't get stuck in his homemade highchair, Pack-In-Play, or adult crib we He comes or he is going to miss out on all the excitement.

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Weekend Update: A Death, Wedding and Bill

Goodness! So much has happened over the weekend. Most notably, Osama Bin Laden was killed by U.S. Special Forces. But I'm sure you knew that already unless you have been living under a rock. Of course there are already conspiracy theorists going crazy over the news. They are picking apart the story as to how he was killed, why he was buried at sea so quickly after his death and even the timing of the raid on his compound and subsequent death. I am not concerned with any of that. I am just glad Al-Qaeda's leader is dead, and maybe the victim's families (of those killed in 9/11) can have some peace knowing that the man responsible has been brought to justice. Too bad it only took them 10 years to find and kill him.

Besides, I have my own theory as to why Osama's compound was raided this weekend. Obama was upset that he wasn't invited to the royal wedding, so he wanted to steal the limelight from Will and Kate. That's right, I said it! He was jealous.

Speaking of, the Superbowl of weddings, was this past Friday. I won't even get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, so, I certainly wasn't willing lose sleep to get up at 4am to watch the wedding of two people I don't even know. However, I did see their kiss on the balcony and all the highlights of their little shindig after it took place. Her dress was pretty, but not spectacular. The flowers were boring. The guests' hats were atrocious. I think that is a fair assessment of it all.

In local news, I had a group project/ presentation on Saturday morning, in which, we presented the pros and cons of HB 137. This bill is currently being considered in the 82nd legislative session of the Texas House of Representatives and would require someone who has been convicted of Driving While Intoxicated to have a mark, or as I like to call it, "scarlet letter," placed on his driver's license. For the first offense, he would be required to have a scarlet letter on his license for three years, for the second conviction, five years, and the third, permanently. I, of course, am the only person in my class full of morons that thinks this is an incredibly stupid waste of taxpayer's money. Besides that, it is unfair for many reasons. The most important being that everyone has a right to due process according to the United States Constitution. Once someone is convicted of a crime and completes his sentence/punishment, that should be the end of it. He shouldn't have to be embarrassed every time he shows his driver's license to someone (Police Officer, Clerk at liquor store, Clerk at grocery store, Teller at bank, a Notary Public, a TSA worker at the airport, etc, etc).

According to Rep. Gallego (click on link to watch video of short debate), the author of this bill, the hope is that a Bartender will see the scarlet letter, realize that the individual has a drinking problem and refuse service to him, thus, preventing him from drinking and driving and perhaps killing someone in the process. This is nonsense, plain and simple. First of all, how ignorant of Rep. Gallego to assume that everyone who gets a DWI is an alcoholic! Secondly, some people actually do learn from their mistakes and don't repeat them, and some do not. Either way, humans have something called free will, which entitles us to make our own decisions, be it right or wrong. Thirdly, obviously Rep. Gallego has never been a Bar Owner of Bartender because if he had been, he would know that no Bartender is going to use his moral compass to decide whether or not to serve a sober, paying customer. He has his bottom line to think about. He is in business to turn a profit, not punish people for past mistakes. He runs a bar, not an adult day care. You get the point.

This is what I said in my presentation and it is the truth: there is no amount of legislation that can be passed to make people be responsible and do the right thing. For example, there are laws prohibiting drug use, prostitution, violence and murder. All of these things still happen every day. So, how is a mark on one's driver's license going to stop someone from drinking and driving? It will not.

Additionally, did you know that DWI is the only charge that one cannot get expunged (meaning, to hide one's criminal record on a background check) from one's record? This means any potential employer, school, etc. can see it for an indefinite amount of time. A felony charge of say, Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon or Burglary can be expunged but a DWI cannot. So, a DWI charge already stays on one's record for the rest of one's life. There is not need for the scarlet letter.

(Disclaimer: I am in no way condoning drinking and driving. It is a crime and should be punished accordingly. However, the punishment should fit the crime. Public humiliation is neither morally acceptable nor just for a DWI-1, which, in my opinion, is merely a result of a lapse in judgement in most cases.)

I have much more I could write about on the matter, but I wouldn't want to bore you more than I already have. Happy Monday! Make it a great week!

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You Can Call Me Mrs. Nabisco

In contrast to Michael Moore, I really enjoy Morgan Spurlock's documentaries (although Moore makes some valid points, they are overshadowed by his um, zeal, to put it nicely). I was really disappointed when his television show, "30 Days," ended. I watched it religiously. I love how he really makes a point to show both sides of any given issue. So, I am interested to see his new movie called Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.

Even more interesting is how he apparently convinced Altoona, Pennsylvania, a city of 50,000 people (the tenth most populous city in the state), to officially change their name to Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, Pennsylvania for a period of 60 days. Am I the only one who thinks this is absolutely nuts and absolutely brilliant at the same time? The city gets instant recognition and so does Spurlock's film. It is a win/win! Plus, Spurlock is paying Altoona $25,000 for their temporary name change, which will be used to fund the police department. The downside is that their city will be named Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold for 60 days. Yuck. But overall, it is a very creative marketing strategy, don't you think?

Maybe I will change my name to my favorite food brand, Nabisco. That's Mrs. Nabisco, to you.

Happy Hump Day!

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Creative Resume Writing

This is BRILLIANT! If I ever start my own company, I am going to hire a Private Investigator to find this guy to work for me. He is clearly a very talented man and a real go-getter! My favorite is the fact that he has cat-like reflexes (I wonder if he always lands on his feet when falls, as well. I would have to test this as a part of the interview process). Who doesn't want that in a potential employee? YES PLEASE! HIRED!

Happy Monday!

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Trump to Obama: "You're Fired!"

Have you heard the news? Donald Trump has been generating a lot of publicity lately and surprisingly, it not for his ginger comb-over, cheating on his wife, or a lawsuit against him. He is considering running for President in 2012.

Normally, I don't really keep up with who is who in the politic arena. However, I have recently become more aware that who we vote into office really does make a difference. It is important to vote for someone who shares your values if you want them to truly represent you. That being said, I would like to know how Donald Trump thinks he is even close to being any kind representation of the average American. A. He is a gazillionaire, B. He has had the same bad haircut for 30+ years (okay, maybe these people can relate), C. He is as promiscuous as a bonobo chimpanzee (the Republicans frown upon this sort of behavior) and D. Oh, and did I mention he is a gazillionaire? He probably doesn't even know who Joe the Plumber is, much less would he be able to relate to him or be concerned with his plight.

Besides all of those reasons, he has the personality of a doorknob. So, if he actually gets the Republican nomination, he would be wise to choose Sarah Palin (that is if she is over all that Tea Party nonsense by then) as his Vice President. That way, he will have the brains of the pair, and she will have the nice hair and charisma. Or better yet, since he loves Omarosa so much, maybe she could be his running mate to gain support from all the new minority voters who voted for Obama in 2008...because let's be real, they only voted for him for one reason. I would be willing to bet they have no concept of what it means to be a Democrat vs. a Republican, nor would they have any desire to know anything about a candidate beyond his or her external appearance.

Oh gosh, I can only imagine what his slogan will be. Probably something along the lines of, "Obama, you're fired!" So predictable.

Speaking of "fired," Trump is fired up about Obama allegedly not being a natural born citizen and therefor, ineligible to be President. Uh, Donny, maybe you should put down the Wall Street Journal every now and again and brush up on your current events. All speculation as to where he was born should have been put to rest in June 2008 when he made public a copy of his Birth Certificate.

So, Donny, maybe you should call off your goons and lay low for a while until your official announcement in June. You certainly don't need anymore bad press (but you could use a new hair stylist). Just tryna' help a brotha' out! :)

Happy Friday!!!!

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Art or Junk?

You think those are butterflies? Look closer.

"The Holy Virgin Mary" Chris Ofili (1996)

Here is another example of why you should NOT act on every idea that pops into your head. Nobody wants to see you naked in the name of art, lady! P.S. Okay, I admit, you have a decent body, but your tramp stamp is not pretty...yet it is the only thing artistic about your photo.

It has been my experience as an observer that artists tend to think every idea they have is brilliant, magical and will have a huge impact on every person who views their artwork. In reality, their work is typically is only brilliant, magical to the artist and only understood by the artist themselves.

For example, Janine Antoni's "Gnaw" (1992). She thinks it is so cool to use her body in her artwork. In the past, she has dipped her hair in paint and painted a canvas on the floor by flinging her hair around, had herself dipped into a pool of lard, made soap and chocolate moldings of her face, etc. In "Gnaw", she used the act of chewing and spitting lard (yes, I said LARD!) and chocolate into buckets and had them molded into 600lb blocks. Then, she took bites out of the blocks and had lipstick and a box for chocolates (empty of chocolates but made of chocolate) made with that saliva/lard or saliva/chocolate mixture of those bites. BRAVO! What an incredible concept! Lets give this woman some awards to legitimize this foolishness!

Actually, shame on her for wasting all that food. There are still starving kids in (insert any third world country here), you know!

I don't know, maybe I just don't GET modern art. But I think a prerequisite to being an artist must be to have a drug problem and/or a mental illness of some sort and/or to be totally self-absorbed...like this guy, or this guy, or even this guy.

None of these people are sane. So, why do we as a society look at their work in awe and think they are masterpieces? These are just crazy/self-loving people with too much time on their hands than make crazy art with cryptic meanings. Or maybe I am the crazy one for taking my time to write about them...hmm.

Speaking of crazy, I recently read this article and really got a kick out of it. One in three Art students can't tell famous paintings from paintings by monkeys. And these are future artists. Enough said!

Happy Monday!

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Meth Lab Daycare and Sumo Runner

Ooopsies! I have been forgetting to blog. I was just having TOO much fun on Spring Break last week!

So, this is old new but still worth sharing. This is deplorable...and apparently it is becoming the newest way for people to legitimately run a business (without a license, that is) and smoke dope all day as well! Who said you can't have your cake and eat it too?! I kid.

In other happier news, congrats to this guy! While I would not want to be in the news as being the heaviest person to complete ANYTHING, kudos to him for having the strength to carry his 400 pound body 26 miles down the road. It is commendable that he is still able to walk, much less run a marathon. It is certainly not something I could do, and I am not morbidly obese...yet.

Happy Monday to you all! I promise I will be a more diligent blogger. I know you look forward to reading my personal thoughts on random news stories...pause...not!

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A Hair-Razing Ordeal

This just made my day! Here are just a few alternate headlines for this story even though the picture itself is funny enough:

1. Man Makes Fun of Bad Haircut, Gets Cut

2. The Victim of Bad Haircut Is Perpetrator of Crime

3. Pro-Cuts Had a Half-off Sale

4. Now Trending: The HALF-fro

5. Stab and A Haircut, Two Bits!

6. "Barbershop 3: I'll Cut Ya" Coming Soon

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A Boatload of "Buttload"

This is nonsensical! I cannot believe that the general public is so dumb that the dictionary will now include words such as "buttload." Everyone knows "buttload" is a word which derived from the word "boatload" being mispronounced. It is just sad that as a result of it being mispronounced so frequently, they just decided, what the hey, let's go ahead and make the mispronounced, made up word a legitimate word! If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

Wrong. With that attitude, by 2012, schools in the U.S. will be teaching textspeak and/or Ebonics instead of English.

As a matter of fact, I don't particularly care for any of the words on the list. The only one that I think is remotely clever is "sexting," which actually is not anything to write home to Mom about either since it is just two words combined into one. The rest on the list just make me embarrassed to be living on this planet. Once Mars is livable for humans, I will be moving there. Heck, I may even write my own dictionary for my new planet! You can be certain, it will NOT include the word "buttload," which I am still not accepting as a REAL word.

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MADD Drunk Driver

I've been thinking a lot about irony. I see it quite frequently in my everyday life. For example, the girl who is nearing the end of her college studies but can't even put a sentence together correctly, my cat who is severely overweight eating right next to a scale, the Accountant who is irresponsible with his finances.

All those things kind of make you chuckle, but this really takes the cake! I'll spare you the whole ''Drunk Driving is Bad" speech because everyone knows it- especially the former President of a Mother's Against Drunk Driving chapter!

I have seen a lot of mugshots, sometimes the people are crying, sometimes smiling, but none that I have seen have had that kind of crazy, angry, killer expression. She definitely looks MADD that she got caught! :)

Happy Monday everyone! Remember to appreciate ironic situations. It really makes for a good laugh.

Disclaimer: All are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law...even then, they may still have been innocent and just had a bad lawyer :)

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Drug Mugs

Well, it is has been a while since I have blogged, mostly because I haven't found anything newsworthy enough to write about.

I came across this article tonight, and it is things like this that make you realize how serious drug addiction really is. I have had an up close and personal view of it myself, but for those who have not, I imagine these would be some really shocking images. I can attest that drugs truly do ruin lives and families. So, if any of these photos deter even one person from trying drugs, it is worth it.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer. It is just a really serious, sad subject, and my heart is heavy as I think of all of the families of addicts that are suffering. So, so, sad.

Parents, please talk to your kids about the consequences of drug use.

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A Life For a Life

A friend sent this article to me, and I couldn't believe what I was reading. I still don't even know how I feel about it. On one hand, I think abortion is wrong (unless the mother's life is at risk), and in regard to murdering the doctors who murder the fetuses, the bible does say, "an eye for an eye..." On the other hand, two wrongs don't make a right, and murder is obviously never morally acceptable. So, I am very conflicted about this one. I will let you judge for yourself. However, I highly doubt this bill will pass seeing as it is unconstitutional, so it is nothing to lose sleep over. It is just something to think about, you know in case you ever get interviewed by a major, national magazine like Justin Bieber. Then, you will need to have an intelligent opinion on the matter.

Just wanted to share. Happy Friday!!!

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Flava Flaaaaaaaaav!

Yeah boyee! I cannot even tell you how excited I am about this!

Anyone who knows me knows that my guilty pleasure is reality television. My first love is The Real Housewives series, but there is room in my heart for others. I definitely will be watching Flava Flav's new show. I know, I know, he is a greasy, little sleazeball of a D-list celebrity who wears a full-sized clock as a necklace! However, you have to admit, he is quite entertaining and very funny. Plus, no matter who he is, you have admire a man of his age going back to school to get his high school diploma. Also, his motive is good (we are going to ignore the fact that he is a washed-up 80's rapper, crack addict and criminal, and is most likely doing the show in part because of the thousands of dollars they are paying him). He wants to be a role model for adults who may feel like they cannot go back to school. That is commendable.

Who knows, maybe he will go on to college and study Horology! Look out, Rolex, you might have some pint-sized competition! :)

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Saint Valentine, You Hopeless Romantic!

For those of you who hate Valentine's Day because you think it too commercialized and you are a cheapskate or a grumpy single, do remember that there is a good story behind every tradition and that it is worth celebrating.

Saint Valentine was a Roman priest in the third century who broke the law by marrying soldiers to the women they loved. He broke the law in the name of love. Isn't that sweet? :)

Anyway, to all of you single folks, Valentine's Day is a celebration of love- not necessarily of the love between a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. Just love, period. So, remember the one's you love today....or do what Dear Abby says and clean out your closets. Oh, what fun! [pause] Not!

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day to my one and only love, Drew. You will know how much you mean to me when you get your gift in 2-7 business days :)

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A Little of This and A Little of That

Hi, my name is Rebekah and I am a Droidaholic. Well, more like a DroidWordsaholic. I got a new phone over the weekend- the EVO 4G-which is the reason for my absence in blogging. It is my first real smart phone and I just love it to pieces. I spend a good two hours a day playing DroidWords which is basically the electronic version of Scrabble. It is quite addicting and I am quite good :)

In other news, traffic this morning really tested my patience. I have a low tolerance for stupidity in general anyway, and normally, I wouldn't complain about such things on my blog, but I really thought I might find myself in a life or death road rage situation today in particular. Oh, I wanted to get out of the car so bad and rough that guy up a little, you know, let him know who is boss. The only reason I didn't is because I value MY life too much :) Im sure you don't want to hear about it...I just don't think think other drivers take me seriously. Maybe a bumper sticker that reads "Crazy On Board" might help them understand who they are dealing with.

Yesterday evening, I went to the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth for College Night to see the Salvator Rosa Exhibit. I only went to receive extra credit in my Art Appreciation class. I don't really comprehend art beyond fingerpainting, however I really enjoyed this exhibit. It was a Docet-guided tour, and our guide was a little, old, German woman with a lot of spunk. She got so excited as she told us the story of each painting, and there were some really interesting pieces. He liked to paint scenes that told stories such as certain myths of his time. All had a certain darkness about them though, which I didn't like.

Anyway, that has been my week. Now, back to DroidWords.

Catch of the Day

Man Catches Scuba Diver Instead of Fish

1. Who the heck goes scuba diving in freezing water under a frozen lake?

2. What is the point of putting out a flag indicating that you are scuba diving nearby if no one knows what the flag symbolizes?

3. The guy's reaction to seeing the scuba diver's hand come out of the water when he "caught" him was priceless! He said, "I didn't know what to- if I should shake it, or what." Yeah, I'm thinking that would have just added insult to injury.

4. The fisherman is the one who ruined his scuba diving adventure, yet the diver brought him a beer as a peace offering. How does that make sense? I guess it was a nice gesture to say, "Sorry you thought you were catching the biggest fish you would probably ever see in your lifetime, but it turned out to be me."

5. Why did the divers have beer anyway? It is probably not safe to drink and dive.

6. If he would have killed and eaten the scuba diver, would it be considered murder? Hey, he caught him fair and square just like a fish!

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Snow White in Texas

So, today is the first day we actually have snow and not just ice. I went out this morning to take pictures in true crazy lady style- with my slippers and bathrobe on. What was especially strange was how eerily quiet it was. Silence. No cars on the street, no sound of the gate opening and closing, no cars warming up in the parking lot. Pure silence. It was very bizarre.

Now, I am sitting here so bored that I even thought about cleaning. Good thing it was only a thought. :)

One thing that is worth mentioning is despite all this ice, snow and below freezing temperatures this past week, it will be sunny and 48 degrees on Super Bowl Sunday in Dallas/Fort Worth. God must really like football 'cause I know he is not doing it for Jerry Jones!

On another note, as you can see, I gave my blog a long-overdue makeover. It is still a work in progress, but I think it looks a lot better if I may say so myself! Thank you, JB and LC for your help.

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The Tree Octopus and The Easter Bunny

How did you feel when you found out that the Easter Bunny isn't real...or global warming...or Weapons of Mass Destruction? Did you feel betrayed that you had believed a lie for so long?

Well, imagine how the kids felt that took part in a study which set out to prove that the Internet is making kids dumber. What a cruel trick disguised as research! I really wanted to believe in the Tree Octopus. It most likely would have replaced the sloth as my favorite animal.

I have news for you, Dr. Leu, if that is your real name...The Internet is a wonderful resource for finding out all kinds of magical information. It is up to us as logical human beings to discern what is real, fake, or if a particular website was maliciously created to trick kids into believing in the existence of wonderful, exotic, new creature. And it is the job of said kids' parents and teachers to teach them how to know the difference, as well. So, the problem is not the Internet, it is, as the article said, a lack of critical thinking skills being taught to today's children.

So, Doctor Leu, Department of Education, and Pearson Publishing, you did get one thing right: you can't always believe what you read on the Internet. For example, it is especially unbelievable and disheartening to me that my tax dollars funded such bogus and nonsensical research. You all didn't even use a fair sample of American children as participants. Instead, only poor children who were good readers (or as you all so delicately put it, your "50 best online readers" in 7th grade from "economically-challenged" areas) were included in the study.

So, next time you think about exploiting the trust and innocence of children, Dr. Leu, you might want to consider the hit your credibility might take when you openly admit that a study you have done was essentially based on a lie you told to little kids. You are no better than the guy in the white van that needs help finding his lost puppy. I'm going to look you up in the National Sex Offender Registry just for my own peace of mind.

Miss Manners says, "Shame on you!"

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Anderson Under Attack

Oh, what the heck?! I guess I violated copyright laws by uploading that video of Whitney Crackston. Ooopsies!

Speaking of crazy, those wacky protesters in Egypt attacked Anderson Cooper! Who in the world would want to cause harm to such a beautiful man? I get that they are angry and all, but daaaang! Lay off the innocent bystanders who only wish to exploit your bad behavior on American news stations with twenty-four hour coverage! Now, obviously, he would never be interested in me (or any other women), but I still admire his silver-foxiness...Oh, and his mad news reporting skills. But seriously, protesters, shame on you! He didn't deserve that. He is only reporting the news. Relax. Try yoga or something.

To Anderson: You took those jabs to your pretty face like a champ. Keep up the good work, and don't let the haters get you down. You keep doin' yo thang!

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